Shocking News…
Trump might be in the Epstein Files!
I was alarmed to learn over the past several weeks that there was a slim chance, albeit only a possibility, that the current President of the United States might be mentioned in the Epstein files. We already know that former-President Bill Clinton and a disgraced family member of the British monarchy, Prince Andrew, Duke of York, are listed. Still, I am shocked that it was even suggested that Donald Trump might also be included in this group. I’m not sure why I was surprised; the poor man continues to be the constant target of “witch hunts.” First, it was the Access Hollywood tape, then the Russian hoax, the January 6th patriot capital tour, and now this. Will the man ever find peace?
Donald Trump loves young women and wants to protect them. He would never see them as sexual beings. All those comments about his daughter were taken out of context. And frankly, he hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant only because of the scholarships – that’s all. When he entered their dressing rooms, it was to ensure that they were ready and to provide them with a “fatherly” pep talk before the competition. He wanted to guarantee that they all performed well. How could anyone think it was something different – that would be sick! Do you know who was disturbed and attracted to young teenage girls – Hitler! That guy was exceptionally creepy with women.
And yes, at least two dozen women have publicly accused Trump of sexual assault, but they are only spurned women with a vendetta. Mr. Trump has a precise “look” that he is attracted to. You might have noticed it with the women in his cabinet, his press secretaries, his wives, his daughter, and his daughter-in-law. Clearly, none of the women who have made these false accusations have the “Trumpworld” appearance. Some people thought that E. Jean Carroll resembles Marla Maples, but obviously, Marla was not his type either, since he divorced her for the perfect specimen, Melania. Melania is the epitome of the “Trumpworld” appearance.
People want the files released. Mr. Trump would like nothing less than to appease the people. However, he has profound respect for the rule of law and must follow the directives of his Department of Justice and any court orders. That woman judge in Florida has prohibited the release of grand jury testimony – she is obviously trying to protect Bill Clinton. Was she a Democratic appointment? Well, of course, Barack (Hussein) Obama appointed her – she must be protecting him also. If Mr. Trump had the authority, he would release everything.
It is also critical for Mr. Trump to protect the names of people who are in the files but did not commit any crimes. I wonder if Ghislaine Maxwell might be able to shed light on the topic. I’m sure she knows who was involved in the real crimes – Bill Clinton, and she knows who never engaged in illegal activity – Donald Trump. No doubt, she might be the answer to all this uproar. She knows what happened. And even though she committed heinous crimes herself, it may be necessary to pardon her to get her to tell us the truth. I bet Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche would be helpful with this mission. He knows Mr. Trump very well, having been his defense attorney, and he knows that Mr. Trump did nothing wrong. I’m sure he can share that information with Ms. Maxwell, and she will agree.
You can now see why I have been so flabbergasted by the attention surrounding the Epstein files. Obviously, there is nothing inflammatory about Mr. Trump in the files. He has always been a friend to women, particularly young girls. Just another witch hunt – nothing to see here (oh, except, about Bill Clinton, and maybe Barack Obama).
As always, our work is not complete until there are nine…
LeAnn
p.s. - As an aside, I think it was evident that this is all written as satire. However, I have been amazed that people are concerned that Trump might be in the Epstein files. Of course, he is in the files. He and Epstein were the best of friends for at least fifteen years. And yes, there are other prominent men in the files, and they, too, should be exposed for any crimes they may have committed. But why are we now surprised and obsessed? This is what happens when we elect a serial sexual predator to the Presidency. If only we had known before the election…
References:
“Ghislaine Maxwell’s Meetings with Justice Department Shrouded in Secrecy.” NBC News, 26 Jul. 2025, https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/ghislaine-maxwell-justice-department-meetings-rcna221240.
Lucas, Ryan. “Judge Denies Release of Jeffrey Epstein Transcripts in Florida.” NPR, 23 Jul. 2025. NPR, https://www.npr.org/2025/07/23/nx-s1-5477567/jeffrey-epstein-transcripts-florida.
Norkin, Maria Del Russo. The Dangerous Beauty Standard Of The Republican Party. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/06/156668/trump-female-standard-of-beauty-diversity-issue.
Padilla, Mariel. “Defend and Deny: What We Know about Trump and Accusations of Sexual Misconduct.” The 19th, 26 Oct. 2023, https://19thnews.org/2023/10/donald-trump-associates-sexual-misconduct-allegations/.
Pengelly, Martin. “Video of Trump Confusing E Jean Carroll with Ex-Wife in Deposition Is Released.” The Guardian, 5 May 2023. The Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/may/05/donald-trump-e-jean-carroll-trial-video-deposition.
“Sexual Misconduct Allegations against Donald Trump – a Timeline.” The Guardian, 25 Oct. 2024. The Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/25/trump-sexual-misconduct-allegations-timeline.
Stuart, Tessa. “A Timeline of Donald Trump’s Creepiness While He Owned Miss Universe.” Rolling Stone, 12 Oct. 2016, https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/a-timeline-of-donald-trumps-creepiness-while-he-owned-miss-universe-191860/.
Walker, Brian. “What Kind of Women Courted Hitler and His Cronies? The Details Might Surprise You.” HistoryNet, 19 Oct. 2023, https://www.historynet.com/wives-nazi-germany/.